Rael,

We are all gathered here to say goodbye to Rael again. I know he wouldn't have wanted us to be sad, so I would like this to be a time of good memories.

Rael, on the Sunday afternoon that he was born. It was as though he didn't want to be born – perhaps knowing what awaited him. Twice I went into the hospital and twice they sent me home. On the 3rd try, granny, in her best sergeant major voice said: they are not letting her go home till this baby is born – and born he was. Not a good looking baby – looking remarkably like Winston Churchill, and giving no sign of the good looking boy and man he was to grow into.

Rael growing up in Durban. His favorite game with Denise: acting out divers feeding the sharks at the aquarium; loving to go to the beach with his little plastic hammer and bash away at the waves as they rolled in.

Coming on aliya – Getting dressed for the long plane trip, Rael insisting on wearing his suit (why he had a suit I cannot imagine) and long white socks, which he kept pulling up over his trousers up to his knees.

Coming to Israel and meeting his cousins. Rael and Vered running around naked in the locker room at Caeserea, people asking if they were twins. A bond was formed between them that lasted to Rael's dying day.

Rael going fishing with Grandpa in Eilat – was this the beginning of his lifelong love of fishing and Eilat.

Rael's happy days spent at the farm with Yaffa's family. Going to sleep at night with his clothes on top of his pyjamas, so that he wouldn't waste time getting dressed in the morning when he went with Avraham to collect the eggs.

Rael on a sleep out in a friend's back yard – getting the parents to call us in the middle of the night. He was scared – he heard wolves howling. How we laughed – yet only a few years ago I heard that at that time there were in fact hyenas roaming around.

Rael preparing for the army – running around the back yard, diving over boxes – preparation for being accepted into a fighting unit. How handsome he looked on his first day home in his uniform.

After the army, despite his dyslexia, working his way up in Burger Ranch and Burger King, ending up working and living in Los Angeles with his boss. Inviting me for a holiday there – meeting me at the airport in a white stretch limo, booking me in at the Beverly Hills Hotel, taking me to LA's top restaurants, flying me to Las Vegas.

Rael, after the Burger King collapsed, without any formal training and just using his knowledge and skills learned at work, advising people on restaurant and kitchen renovations.

Rael's love of cooking. Loving to barbeque and try out new dishes learned from the cooking channel . Even towards the end when he was so weak, I would come home at lunch time to find him in the kitchen and his first words were – mom, are you hungry, I've just made this or that..

Rael's love of Eilat: I believe that throughout his last months it was the thought of eventually being able to go back and live there that  kept him going. This was his dream – but a dream that was not to be.

Rael, wherever you are now, this is how I want to think of you – in an Eilat heaven, sitting peacefully by the water with your fishing rod, just enjoying the tranquility of your surroundings and all the bad times long gone. We all love and miss you.

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LOUISE:

Rael, today is one year, almost to the hour, since you passed away, and even now I still can't conceive of you as being dead. It's still as if you are just away somewhere, even though I saw you lying there when they turned off your life support system – you just looked so peaceful as if you were fast asleep.  Yet so many things remind me of you – coming home and seeing your empty room, passing the coffee shop where you liked to stop for coffee in the mornings when I took you to the hospital, passing your hairdresser on our corner, seeing the young girl who came to the flat to shave you and give you a haircut the day before you went back to the hospital, never to come home again, always wanting to share with you funny stories that happen, having no one to open all those impossible child-proof bottles.

Whenever one reads obituaries in the paper about young people who died, they always seem to glorify them – how wonderful, clever, successful and well loved by everyone they were. Unfortunately you led a troubled life – even as a young boy you seemed to walk a narrow line and we were never sure if, as an adult, you would overstep that line. You told me at your barmitzvah that you saw yourself with a double handicap– you were both dyslexic and had parents who were divorced. Yet despite everything, you had some inner strength,  later rose to top managerial positions and, without any formal training, found that you had a talent for designing restaurants and kitchens. I believe that until you got sick you enjoyed life, despite all your problems. We cannot deny the pain, hurt and disappointment that you caused lots of us, friends and family, and yet, despite everything, we all couldn't but help love you so much. Despite all your faults, you were a kind and caring person, always ready to go out of your way to help anyone if you could. They say that God takes and God gives. He took you away, but he gave Daddy, Denise and I this wonderful grandchild, Rafael, born to Yahel and Donny. How you have loved this amazing child. It was just comforting for all of us to know that at least you knew about the pregnancy when you were in hospital. However, your death was very difficult for Yahel because she was never able to visit you in the intensive care department because of her pregnancy. We at least had closure – seeing you at the end, but Yahel didn't, and wasn't able to say goodbye.

I know that your last years were not pleasant ones for you – not having control over your own body, having to depend on me for so many things. And yet, you never took anything for granted – if you needed anything extra it was always "mom, do you have the strength to do this….. or that". Your last days in the hospital were very difficult and you went through so much, and so many times you pleaded with us to just let you go. But then, sadly enough, just a few days before you died, you managed to whisper to me that now you wanted to live because of the family. I like to believe that the presence of all the family and friends around you during those last days gave you some sort of extra strength that somehow revived your will to live – but by then it was too late. When Denise and I went back to the hospital to thank the staff, Igor told me that one seldom sees such a wonderful support system as you had. Although they face death constantly, everyone at the department, from the cleaners to the doctors, were so sad when you died. Now all your family and friends are gathered here to be with you. You are always in our minds, Rael, and we all love you very dearly.